Sudden Funeral Attendance: Over 70% Feel 'Anxious' About Funeral Etiquette, with 'Incense Offering Manners' the Top Concern

Sahn Holdings Co., Ltd. (Headquarters: Minato-ku, Tokyo; Osaka Headquarters: Kita-ku, Osaka; President & CEO: Satoshi Hoshima; TSE Prime: 9628), which aims to provide total support so that people across Japan can experience funerals and life endings with peace of mind, safety, and without regret, has conducted a survey targeting 1,000 men and women aged 30 to 60 on funeral etiquette.

With the progression of nuclear families and population concentration in urban areas, more people are growing up with little exposure to funerals. Funeral manners, once naturally shared within families and relatives, are increasingly becoming knowledge that people don't know who to ask about. Meanwhile, the widespread use of the internet and social media has made self-directed information gathering commonplace. Against this backdrop of changing environments, this survey was conducted to explore the 'anxieties' and 'uncertainties' people face in the non-routine setting of a funeral.

This survey revealed that many people feel anxious about funeral etiquette. Furthermore, while many individuals research funeral manners online before attending, a significant number reported having experienced situations where they 'felt embarrassed' or 'failed' due to lack of knowledge during actual attendance.

■ Survey Summary

① Over 70% of respondents feel anxious about funeral etiquette.

　Particularly, many lack confidence in 'incense offering procedures' and 'condolence speech.'

② 15.0% have experienced 'feeling embarrassed due to lack of etiquette knowledge' at an actual funeral.

　Specific failures included 'not knowing how to offer incense' and 'wearing skin-colored stockings.'

③ Approximately 70% reported that 'internet search' is their primary method for gathering information on funeral etiquette.

　Meanwhile, over 80% said that 'opportunities to naturally learn from parents or relatives have decreased.'

■ Overview of 'Survey on Awareness of Funeral Etiquette'

Survey Period: January 9, 2026

Survey Method: Online questionnaire

Respondents: Men and women aged 30–69 across Japan

Number of Respondents: 1,000 (125 men and 125 women each from ages 30s to 60s)

Survey Conducted by: Sahn Holdings Co., Ltd.

* Percentages in charts are rounded to the second decimal place, so totals may not sum to 100%.

When referencing these survey results, please include the note: [Cited from Sahn Holdings 'Survey on Awareness of Funeral Etiquette'].

When asked whether they feel anxious about funeral etiquette when attending a funeral, 29.1% answered 'always feel anxious' and 42.6% answered 'sometimes feel anxious,' indicating that approximately 70% feel some level of anxiety.

Funerals are not everyday events, and with increasing diversification in formats such as family funerals, it is easy to encounter situations requiring difficult judgment. This likely explains why many people attend funerals with a certain degree of anxiety.

Among respondents who answered 'feel anxious' in Q1, when asked about specific points where they 'feel uncertain' or 'lack confidence,' 'incense offering procedure/number of times' was the highest at 57.6%, followed by 'condolence speech (greetings)' at 53.7%, and 'condolence money (amount, outer envelope writing, wrapping with fukusa)' at 52.7%. Additionally, 'attire (including shoes, bags, etc.)' exceeded 40% at 41.0%.

While funerals are situations where people feel they 'must not make mistakes,' uncertainties are concentrated on items where 'prior knowledge directly affects anxiety' and 'on-the-spot judgment is required,' such as procedures, speech, money (condolence money), and personal appearance.

When asked whether they have ever had an experience of 'feeling embarrassed due to lack of etiquette knowledge' or 'failing' at a funeral, 85.0% answered 'no,' while 15.0% answered 'yes.'

Among those who answered 'yes' to having embarrassing or failed experiences in Q3, when asked about 'specific situations,' 'incense offering (e.g., not knowing the procedure, feeling flustered)' was the highest at 46.0%, followed by 'attire' at 33.3%, and 'condolence money/fukusa' at 30.9%.

Specific examples included: 'not knowing how to offer incense, unable to see clearly how others in front were doing it, and feeling flustered when it was my turn,' 'in my youth, unaware that black stockings should be worn with mourning attire, so I attended wearing regular stockings,' 'didn't know when to present condolence money after check-in,' and 'couldn't properly greet the bereaved family head.'

This suggests that the top concerns regarding funeral etiquette also directly lead to actual 'failures' and 'embarrassing experiences.'

When asked about information sources for researching funeral etiquette, 'internet search (Google, Yahoo!, etc.)' was the most common at 69.4%. This was followed by 'asking parents/relatives' at 39.7% and 'asking friends/acquaintances' at 19.1%. Additionally, when asked whether they feel opportunities to naturally learn regional funeral customs and manners from parents, relatives, or elders have decreased, over 80% answered yes. Specifically, 35.3% answered 'strongly agree' and 45.4% answered 'somewhat agree.' While regional customs and manners were once naturally acquired through life events like weddings and funerals, the majority now perceive a significant decline in such learning opportunities.

From these results, it is evident that gathering information on funeral etiquette has shifted from solely 'asking people nearby' to a mainstream practice of individuals researching online to supplement their knowledge. However, given the vast amount of search results and the fact that appropriate responses may vary by sect, region, or venue operations, attendees may find it difficult to identify information suitable for their specific situation.

Additionally, when asked whether they would use a consultation window with local experts (e.g., funeral companies) knowledgeable about regional customs—beyond just internet information—in cases where manners and customs differ by region, 10.2% answered 'would definitely use it (feels reassuring)' and 47.9% answered 'would use it if the opportunity arises,' indicating that nearly 60% are open to using expert consultation services.

These results reveal that while internet searches are the primary method for gathering funeral etiquette information, a majority of people seek 'accuracy' and 'peace of mind' considering regional differences and individual circumstances, and thus are willing to consult experts.

While the internet offers the advantage of easily accessing information and quickly looking up unknowns, the overwhelming volume of information means that casually consulting experts or funeral companies when feeling anxious could also be a viable solution.

Although information-gathering methods have shifted toward digital platforms, this survey still reveals that over 70% of people continue to feel anxious about funeral etiquette. The main sources of anxiety—'incense offering,' 'condolence speech,' 'condolence money'—are items where the correct action is unclear in the moment and mistakes can easily lead to embarrassment or regret. Currently, 15.0% of respondents admitted to having 'embarrassing experiences at funerals.'

Information on the internet is overflowing